Personal Growth
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One Step, Two Step, Change Step
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. Thich Nhat Hanh Preamble: Although much of this article is based on Twelve-Step concepts, everything is applicable to non-recovery. Change is a universal human need no matter where you are coming from… Continue reading
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Lost in These Autumn Breezes
Summer ends, and Autumn comes, and he who would have it otherwise would have high tide always and a full moon every night. Hal Borland Minnesotans like to joke that if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes. While that isn’t exactly true, I have seen it go from summer to fall practically overnight.… Continue reading
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Living the Dream
A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. Yoko Ono Excluding some slight poetic license, the following is a true story. My head must have been a thousand miles away when I was startled out of my thoughts with a loud, “We’re livin’ the dream, Andrew. Livin’… Continue reading
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Accept Forgive Heal
Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. Hippocrates Every Wednesday, I gather with a group of similarly aged men to catch up on our lives and talk about whatever it is that crosses our minds. While we sometimes drift into politics and how messed up the world… Continue reading
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Get Off My Lawn
I’ll know my song well before I start singing. Bob Dylan I like to say that I catch nostalgia like a cold. It grabs hold of me and clouds my senses with illusions and fantasies. Play Me and You and a Dog Named Boo and I’m 13-years-old driving in the car with Dad up to… Continue reading
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Sorry Not Sorry
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain When my youngest son, James, was around 11 or 12, he and I joined with a few other fathers and their sons to create what we called The Sun Club. Every week we met… Continue reading
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Act As If
The key to success is action, and the essential in action is perseverance. Sun Yat-sen Despite having what some would consider a long and successful career, I never felt that I was particularly special at anything. I was a decent programmer, but I knew a lot of people who were much better than me. I… Continue reading
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All the World is Birthday Cake
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope Last week I had another one of those birthday things. It wasn’t one that ends in zero, so it didn’t have the gravitas of a big transition. Still, I am of the belief that even these lesser-milestone birthdays are special… Continue reading
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The North Shore Simple Life
‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,And when we find ourselves in the place just right,‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight Joseph Brackett I am a Cancer and us Cancers find great comfort in the familiar. I… Continue reading
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Through Another’s Eyes
There are children playing in the streets who could solve some of my top problems in physics, because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago. J. Robert Oppenheimer After hearing my youngest daughter-in-law rave about it, I bought the game Do You Really Know Your Family. The game is comprised of… Continue reading
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A Spoonful of Laughter
Holding onto anger and resentment harms you, whereas forgiveness brings joy. Twelve-step groups consist of diverse individuals and are not religious; they promote personal interpretations of a higher power. Laughter plays a crucial role in recovery, enabling individuals to view addiction differently, foster connection, and heal their egos, ultimately transforming their lives. Continue reading
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My Big Year
Some sweet dayI’ll make her mine, pretty flamingoThen every guy will envy me‘Cause paradise is where I’ll be Mark Barkan Linda and I recently watched the 2011 movie The Big Year. Despite the star power of Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson, it was a box office flop. It cost around $41 million to… Continue reading
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The Unselfish Vegetarian
People often say that humans have always eaten animals, as if this is a justification for continuing the practice. According to this logic, we should not try to prevent people from murdering other people, since this has also been done since the earliest of times. Isaac Bashevis Singer I was listening to The Splendid Table… Continue reading
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Somebody Somewhere
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. Lao Tzu I have always been a stumbler. I create lofty plans regarding where I want to be and what I need to do to get there only to see my journey become a series of accidents, pitfalls, switchbacks, and wrong… Continue reading
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How Old Am I
If I had to choose just one dayTo last my whole life throughIt would surely be that SundayThe day that I met you George David Weiss “How old am I?” She looked up from her book. “What?” “I said, how old am I?” “Don’t be silly. You know how old you are.” “I want you… Continue reading
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A Day of Visibility
All of us are put in boxes by our family, by our religion, by our society, our moment in history, even our own bodies. Some people have the courage to break free. Geena Rocero I have said and done far too many unkind and thoughtless things in my life. Some are long forgotten, but there… Continue reading
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Pollyanna, Radical Feminist
Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it. Chuck Palahniuk I have secret pleasure. I adore 1950s and 1960s live-action Disney movies. I suspect that much of that has to do with my childhood. I have very powerful memories of piling into… Continue reading
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Entirely Ready
I have to be composed; I have to be poised. I have to remember what my first piano teacher told me: ‘You do not touch that piano until you are ready and until they are ready to listen to you. Nina Simone It has been a few months since I wrote A Fearless and Moral… Continue reading
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The Art of No
Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress. Melody Beattie In 1964, as an 8th… Continue reading
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Teenage Crash and Burn
When I was a teenager, I was an ultra late bloomer, and my mom would say it was a blessing because it means you never have to wonder if guys are only interested in you because you’ve got boobs. Anna Kendrick I recently came upon the following: A survey conducted by the Survey Center on… Continue reading
Can You Hear Me Now 