Can You Hear Me Now

The Amen of nature is always a flower.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

On Saturday, January 24, I did something I haven’t done since I was a kid. As most Americans should know, that was the day that Alex Pretti was brutally beaten and murdered by ICE agents. The Twin Cities were still grieving for Renee Good and yet another senseless killing threatened to throw the up-to-then peaceful protests into chaos. Thankfully, my community did not take the bait and we continued to gather and express our anger in non-violent and expressive ways. We know what they want of us and we are not going to give it to them.

Many of those gatherings were on the streets of Minneapolis and Saint Paul, but many more were held inside where it was significantly warmer. Some gatherings were as small as neighbors meeting in neighbor’s houses and some, like the one I attended, were held in churches.

A few hours after the killing, I received an email saying that my church was going to hold a vigil that night. We were asked to come to sing, listen, sit in silence, pray, light candles, and grieve together as a faith community. Even though I had dinner plans at my oldest son’s house (yet another form of grief gathering), I told my family I would be leaving shortly after eating.

It was at the vigil that I did that something. After years of not saying Amen other than in joking and casual ways, I felt the need to join with my fellow congregants as we put exclamation points at the ends of the many moving statements spoken from the chancel. That particular word was exactly what I needed in order to share in the collective grief and healing. In saying Amen, I was actually saying, “I believe in what you just said. We need to stop this madness before another human life is lost. I will stand with you. I have your back.”

Admittedly, the first Amen was somewhat hesitant. My lizard brain asked me, “Really? Haven’t we moved past this silliness? This is not who you are.” At the same time, my heart was telling me to set aside whatever old wounds Amen exposed and reclaim the word as my own. The young teenager that walked away from his Catholic upbringing is not the much older man who has embarked on a more fulfilling spiritual journey.

Fun fact: The written Amen first appeared in the Hebrew Bible where it was used as a declaration of affirmation. Common English translations include “verily,” “truly,” “it is true,” “so be it,” and “let it be so.” From Judaism, Amen worked its way into Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism.

The history of the word Amen prior to its occurrence in the Hebrew Bible is fascinating and a somewhat murky. Some religious scholars believe that Amen is a derivative of the name of the Egyptian god Amum. Others claim that it comes from the Hindu Sanskrit word Aum. Like the virgin birth (which happened numerous times before Mary made her way to that manger), religions from have been borrowing from each other since the beginning of human awareness.

The Fearless Alex America

The America that existed before the last presidential election is still here, but it has become much harder to see. You will not see it in the White House, Congress, or the six white supremacist judges of The Supreme Court. You will also not see it in the masked faces of ICE agents that are terrorizing the cities I love. All I see from them is hatred, violence, revenge, and greed.

Despite our whistles versus their guns, I also see fear. They are afraid that their hope for a white, male dominated America has been shattered. They are desperate to take back something that was never theirs to take.

If you want to see the historic American ideal (despite our many warts, wounds, and moral failings), you need only look into the eyes of the 50,000 Minnesotans who marched in sub-zero weather the day before Alex was murdered.

You can also see it in the faces of the hundreds that gathered at my church on a cold Saturday night — or the thousands that found their way to other churches around the Twin Cities. Candles were lit and bells were rung.

You see it in the students who walked out from their classrooms and marched to the State Capitol to say, “This is not the world we want to grow up in.” They are doing what too many adults are afraid to do.

You see it in the piles of food my neighborhood (and neighborhoods across the Twin Cities) are collecting and delivering to at-risk families.

My dream is of a place and a time where America will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth. Abraham Lincoln

You see it on the bridge my friends and I stand on every Wednesday. Come join us!

Most importantly, you see it beaming out of Alex’s body as he steps into harm’s way to assist the woman ICE agents have violently thrown to the ground. He is fearless in the face of an administration that demands his fear. He bravely stands up to tyranny because he knows it is the right thing to do.

Like a monk absorbed in prayer
or a runner with eyes, head, and legs
fixated upon completion

A line
straight and undeterred

An idea
carried through to its obvious conclusion

Here I am on my knees
untiring
sure and determined

Unwavering to the finish
at the start of something new

For that America, the fearless Alex America, I say without reservation or compromise, Amen.

In the same way we will reclaim our cities, states, and country from the fascist and his secret police thug army, I have reclaimed Amen and made it mine. Let it be so.

Thank you for reading.

For friends, strangers, and family
for forgiveness for the mistakes I made
and those I will be making
for finding my way through chaos and clutter
the forceful shove
the gentle touch
for challenges
mine alone and shared
for beauty
change
for darkness and light

For this day
and every day lived fully in joy and sadness
ending in gratitude, poetry, and prayer

Amen