Personal Growth
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On Beloved Community
Love is creative and redemptive. Love builds up and unites; hate tears down and destroys. The aftermath of the ‘fight with fire’ method is bitterness and chaos, the aftermath of the love method is reconciliation and creation of the beloved community. Yes , love — which means understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill, even for one’s enemies-is… Continue reading
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Step and Glide
It’s coming on ChristmasThey’re cutting down treesThey’re putting up reindeerAnd singing songs of joy and peaceOh, I wish I had a riverI could skate away on Joni Mitchell I grew up in the Arizona desert where seeing snow required a long car ride. I have very strong memories of driving from my home in the… Continue reading
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Who’s on First?
History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce. Karl Marx Shortly after Mom’s 90th birthday she said to me, “How did I get so old?” My answer was quick and to the point. “You didn’t die.” While I am far short of Mom’s eventual 98 years, I can’t help but ask myself the same… Continue reading
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On the Nature of a Higher Power
There is an eternal landscape, a geography of the soul; we search for its outlines all our lives. Josephine Hart This missive is part of my Coming of Age series of articles. If you haven’t been following along and would like to know what this is all about, you can find the previous articles here:… Continue reading
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First Frost
All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. J. R. R. Tolkien We had our first frost of the season on Saturday. Having lived in Minnesota since the 1980s, I know that no… Continue reading
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On Being Alive
Someone to hold me too closeSomeone to hurt me too deepSomeone to sit in my chairAnd ruin my sleepAnd make me awareOf being alive Stephen Sondheim In last week’s article, On Being Human, I wrote of how at the ripe age of 67 I began my Coming of Age process. I answered the human part… Continue reading
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On Being Human
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin I began an on-again, off-again relationship with Unitarianism sometime in the late 1990s. Admittedly, I was introduced to the religion by my wife who grew up Unitarian. I was raised a Catholic, but somewhere… Continue reading
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The Sessions
Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give. Bertrand Russell This article deals with things of a sexual nature and I use words that may be upsetting to some of my readers. Feel free to stop now if… Continue reading
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One Step, Two Step, Change Step
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. Thich Nhat Hanh Preamble: Although much of this article is based on Twelve-Step concepts, everything is applicable to non-recovery. Change is a universal human need no matter where you are coming from… Continue reading
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The Biblical Case for LGBTQ+ Rights
The longer you’re in one place, the harder it is to leave. Gene Clark I should not be surprised at the hate and vitriol that continues to come from the Republican party, but this newish bit of garbage blew me away. Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky recently said that former CDC director Demetre Daskalakis “had… Continue reading
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Accept Forgive Heal
Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. Hippocrates Every Wednesday, I gather with a group of similarly aged men to catch up on our lives and talk about whatever it is that crosses our minds. While we sometimes drift into politics and how messed up the world… Continue reading
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Get Off My Lawn
I’ll know my song well before I start singing. Bob Dylan I like to say that I catch nostalgia like a cold. It grabs hold of me and clouds my senses with illusions and fantasies. Play Me and You and a Dog Named Boo and I’m 13-years-old driving in the car with Dad up to… Continue reading
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Sorry Not Sorry
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain When my youngest son, James, was around 11 or 12, he and I joined with a few other fathers and their sons to create what we called The Sun Club. Every week we met… Continue reading
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Act As If
The key to success is action, and the essential in action is perseverance. Sun Yat-sen Despite having what some would consider a long and successful career, I never felt that I was particularly special at anything. I was a decent programmer, but I knew a lot of people who were much better than me. I… Continue reading
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All the World is Birthday Cake
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope Last week I had another one of those birthday things. It wasn’t one that ends in zero, so it didn’t have the gravitas of a big transition. Still, I am of the belief that even these lesser-milestone birthdays are special… Continue reading
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Through Another’s Eyes
There are children playing in the streets who could solve some of my top problems in physics, because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago. J. Robert Oppenheimer After hearing my youngest daughter-in-law rave about it, I bought the game Do You Really Know Your Family. The game is comprised of… Continue reading
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A Spoonful of Laughter
Holding onto anger and resentment harms you, whereas forgiveness brings joy. Twelve-step groups consist of diverse individuals and are not religious; they promote personal interpretations of a higher power. Laughter plays a crucial role in recovery, enabling individuals to view addiction differently, foster connection, and heal their egos, ultimately transforming their lives. Continue reading
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My Big Year
Some sweet dayI’ll make her mine, pretty flamingoThen every guy will envy me‘Cause paradise is where I’ll be Mark Barkan Linda and I recently watched the 2011 movie The Big Year. Despite the star power of Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson, it was a box office flop. It cost around $41 million to… Continue reading
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The Unselfish Vegetarian
People often say that humans have always eaten animals, as if this is a justification for continuing the practice. According to this logic, we should not try to prevent people from murdering other people, since this has also been done since the earliest of times. Isaac Bashevis Singer I was listening to The Splendid Table… Continue reading
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Somebody Somewhere
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. Lao Tzu I have always been a stumbler. I create lofty plans regarding where I want to be and what I need to do to get there only to see my journey become a series of accidents, pitfalls, switchbacks, and wrong… Continue reading
