Can You Hear Me Now

Nothing spoils the taste of peanut butter like unrequited love.

Charles Schultz

Linda, our friends Sheila and Jeff, and I recently attended The Life and Art of Charles M. Schultz at the Minnesota History Center. Having been a lifelong fan of Charlie Brown and Peanuts, it was a very moving experience. From a very early age, I read the daily comic strips, owned a Peanuts lunch box, bought all the paperback books, and watched the TV specials.

I am old enough to have watched the very first showing of A Charlie Brown Christmas and despite the fact that I saw it our family’s black and white RCA TV, my mind saw everything in vibrant colors. Whether it was the twinkle of the holiday lights on Snoopy’s “First Prize” dog house, or the green of Charlie Brown’s pathetic little Christmas tree, it was if I had been thrown into a Sunday strip and living the show in-person. I still get chills when I hear the opening bars of “Christmas Time is Here.”

I cannot say that I am as obsessed with the comic as I once was, but I read the reruns every morning in the StarTribune newspaper (yes, I still have a newspaper delivered to my house) and keep a photo of my youngest son and me posing with Charlie Brown on my desk. There is a sense of childish innocence yet deep wisdom in those strips. Through his words and images, Charles Schultz explored what it means to be in love, lonely, hurt, angry, confused, lost in joy, and curious about the complications of life. Even as a small child I knew that I was reading something more than just kids playing baseball and flying kites. Peanuts moved me in ways that Mutt and Jeff never could.

Fun fact: One of my first pets was a gerbil that I named Chuck after Peppermint Patty’s nickname for Charlie. Unfortunately, Chuck was a biter and I wasn’t overly sad when he died.

As we meandered through the exhibit, Sheila asked us to think about which Peanuts character we most identify with. This proved to be a fairly involved process since each one embodies so many different aspects of the human experience. It would be a mistake to characterize Charlie Brown as simply a blockhead loser. He was also determined, kind, introspective, and a loyal friend. The same goes for a more stereotyped character like Lucy. She may be a cranky, cruel, fussbudget, but she is also head-over-heals in love with Schroeder and feels the pain of his rejection. As with us humans, none of the Peanuts gang was just one thing and their vulnerabilities came out in some very unexpected ways.

In the end, I decided it was necessary to take a little bit from several of the Peanuts characters to build a composite me.

Fun fact: I was given my previously mentioned Charlie Brown lunchbox as a birthday present in the summer between 3rd and 4th grade. I loved it as much anything I had ever received from Mom and Dad. When school resumed, I was so happy to finally be able to use it for real. Unfortunately, the world of ten-year-olds had changed and it was no longer cool to own a lunchbox and the kids teased me mercilessly. Despite my love for all things Charlie Brown, I wasn’t confident enough to bring the lunchbox to school again.

Let’s start with the foundation. There is a lot of Charlie Brown in me – especially in my formative years. I was, and can still be socially awkward, fearful, misguided, and filled with unrequited passions. Like Charlie, I was never any good at school sports (I was almost always the last kid picked for basketball, football, etc.) and was not what anyone would have called a popular kid. I was terribly shy and had my fair share of “little red-headed girls” in my life. I don’t necessarily mean unachievable female love (although there was some of that). I am talking about wanting something so badly, but never actually getting it.

Things have gotten better with age, but all too often I still have those “Good grief, Charlie Brown” moments.

On the flip-side, I strongly identify with Linus’ surety and sense of spirituality – without the overt Christian overtones. I gather my faith from many sources in order to build a conscious purpose that has meaning outside of a prescribed doctrine or dogma. I am as much a Buddhist as I am a Pagan as I am a Jew as I am a Muslim as I am a Christian. Every religion describes the universal truths of love, service, and gratitude in very similar ways and I don’t need to prescribe to any one creed to live a worthwhile and giving life.

I may not have a supernatural god to lean on, yet I constantly feel an outside strength that helps guide my daily actions. Call it love, call it the universe, or call it my higher power, it’s real and it’s substantial.

Still, I cannot help feel a sense of awe and wonder as Linus exclaims, “And there were in the same country shepherds.” The power of story and myth will always run deep within me.

While I will never be able to play Beethoven sonatas on Schroeder’s toy piano, I have am obsessed with music. I am not particularly good at playing or singing, but that doesn’t dissuade me from plucking away at my Irish banjo or singing loudly around the house. A day does not pass without me making some form of joyful noise. Whether or not it’s good for my family and neighbors, it’s good for my soul.

I am too subdued and cautious to ever know the wild, exuberant release of joy expressed by a Snoopy dance (although I once came awfully close at a Grateful Dead concert), but that doesn’t keep me from pursuing it in my own older white man way. It will never be the same, but it’s as close as I allow myself to get.

Then there is Pigpen. While I may not be able to raise a cloud of dust in a snowstorm, you should take a look at my desk. Or perhaps you shouldn’t. It’s not a sight people expect to see when first meeting me. I come off as far more organized and conscientious to create such a mess.

I could pull a little bit more from the other characters (I can be as nerdy as Marcie), but that’s the core. I am essentially Charlie Linus Schroeder Pigpen Brown. Blockheaded yet thoughtful. Driven yet messy. Shy with a touch of the reckless. In other words, human.

And that’s the brilliance of Charles Schultz. He took a pack of misfit kids and turned their comic strip antics into a kaleidoscope of emotions, aspirations, phobias, joys, and life experiences. Peanuts was my schoolyard as a child and apparently it still is.

Fun fact: When the song “Hang on Sloopy” hit the airwaves I was convinced they were singing “Hang on Snoopy.”

So, what Peanuts character or characters are you? Are you a Lucy, Peppermint Patty, Violet (“I didn’t send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown”), or a Woodstock? Inquiring minds need to know.

Thank you for reading.

Is it or is it not
shadow puppet theater with a raincoat, burlesque twist
dreams and aspirations
donuts and cigars
a half veiled epistle of the common place
and the deep rooted desire of the common man and woman

Do you or do you not
for the secrets lie well hidden in outline and plain sight
seek and you shall find
but you know not what nor why