mental-health
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I Want You to Want Me
All you need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Charles M. Schultz Want (verb): To wish, crave, demand, or desire. Need (verb): To require. The way I read the newspaper hasn’t changed in a very long time. I begin with a quick glance at the front page before turning to… Continue reading
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On Death and Loss
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross After a break for the holidays, I am back to my Coming of Age journey. So much has happened since the pause. Most importantly, ICE… Continue reading
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A Pot of Boiling Frogs
The tragedy of life is often not in our failure, but rather in our complacency; not in our doing too much, but rather in our doing too little; not in our living above our ability, but rather in our living below our capacities. Benjamin E. Mays Most of us are familiar with the story of… Continue reading
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Unraveling the Knots
People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. Roger Hornsby A couple weeks ago, I wrote of learning how to ice skate after decades of unrequited love. It was a feel good story about overcoming hesitations… Continue reading
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Banana, Sunset, Chair
Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me. Alice Walker Last week I had my Medicare Wellness Check. For those of you not on Medicare, it’s a yearly visit with your doctor to evaluate your health both physically and emotionally. In addition to… Continue reading
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On Beloved Community
Love is creative and redemptive. Love builds up and unites; hate tears down and destroys. The aftermath of the ‘fight with fire’ method is bitterness and chaos, the aftermath of the love method is reconciliation and creation of the beloved community. Yes , love — which means understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill, even for one’s enemies-is… Continue reading
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Ten Thousand and One Reasons
When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always. Mahatma Gandhi Preamble There is no denying it. We live in difficult times.… Continue reading
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On Being Human
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin I began an on-again, off-again relationship with Unitarianism sometime in the late 1990s. Admittedly, I was introduced to the religion by my wife who grew up Unitarian. I was raised a Catholic, but somewhere… Continue reading
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The Sessions
Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give. Bertrand Russell This article deals with things of a sexual nature and I use words that may be upsetting to some of my readers. Feel free to stop now if… Continue reading
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One Step, Two Step, Change Step
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. Thich Nhat Hanh Preamble: Although much of this article is based on Twelve-Step concepts, everything is applicable to non-recovery. Change is a universal human need no matter where you are coming from… Continue reading
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Living the Dream
A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. Yoko Ono Excluding some slight poetic license, the following is a true story. My head must have been a thousand miles away when I was startled out of my thoughts with a loud, “We’re livin’ the dream, Andrew. Livin’… Continue reading
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Accept Forgive Heal
Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity. Hippocrates Every Wednesday, I gather with a group of similarly aged men to catch up on our lives and talk about whatever it is that crosses our minds. While we sometimes drift into politics and how messed up the world… Continue reading
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Sorry Not Sorry
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Mark Twain When my youngest son, James, was around 11 or 12, he and I joined with a few other fathers and their sons to create what we called The Sun Club. Every week we met… Continue reading
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Act As If
The key to success is action, and the essential in action is perseverance. Sun Yat-sen Despite having what some would consider a long and successful career, I never felt that I was particularly special at anything. I was a decent programmer, but I knew a lot of people who were much better than me. I… Continue reading
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All the World is Birthday Cake
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope Last week I had another one of those birthday things. It wasn’t one that ends in zero, so it didn’t have the gravitas of a big transition. Still, I am of the belief that even these lesser-milestone birthdays are special… Continue reading
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Through Another’s Eyes
There are children playing in the streets who could solve some of my top problems in physics, because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago. J. Robert Oppenheimer After hearing my youngest daughter-in-law rave about it, I bought the game Do You Really Know Your Family. The game is comprised of… Continue reading
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Reframing Aging
My position has always been that the way people age and the signs that we show of aging is nature’s way of tattooing. It’s natural scarification, and the life you lead gives you the symbols and the emblems of your life, the road map you followed. Frances McDormand As I wrote about in my article… Continue reading
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A Spoonful of Laughter
Holding onto anger and resentment harms you, whereas forgiveness brings joy. Twelve-step groups consist of diverse individuals and are not religious; they promote personal interpretations of a higher power. Laughter plays a crucial role in recovery, enabling individuals to view addiction differently, foster connection, and heal their egos, ultimately transforming their lives. Continue reading
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The Man With the Bag / The ICE Man Cometh
Eating chocolate cake in a bag. John Lennon I have an interesting background. Mom and Dad were born in the coal-mining area of Pennsylvania. Dad’s parents emigrated from Poland and Mom’s grandparents came from Poland (grandfather) and Czechoslovakia (grandmother). I was born and raised in Arizona and became an amalgamation of the American Southwest, Eastern… Continue reading
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Somebody Somewhere
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. Lao Tzu I have always been a stumbler. I create lofty plans regarding where I want to be and what I need to do to get there only to see my journey become a series of accidents, pitfalls, switchbacks, and wrong… Continue reading
Can You Hear Me Now 