Love is creative and redemptive. Love builds up and unites; hate tears down and destroys. The aftermath of the ‘fight with fire’ method is bitterness and chaos, the aftermath of the love method is reconciliation and creation of the beloved community. Yes , love — which means understanding, creative, redemptive goodwill, even for one’s enemies-is the solution.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Welcome to Part Four of my series of Coming of Age articles. In case you have not been following along with my journey, you will find the previous three entries here:
On the Nature of a Higher Power
I’ve Been to the Mountaintop
The third question in the Coming of Age program is “How do we strive for Beloved Community?”
I will admit that other than a vague notion of what Beloved Community is, I was unclear as how to answer this question. I certainly had a vision of the world I want to live in, but every Coming of Age question asks me to go deeper than my own outlook and experiences. To grow into the man I hope to become, I need to challenge my current beliefs, understandings, and most of all, ruts. Believe me, I have lots of ruts.
And so I did what every modern human being does when faced with something new. I went to the Internet and began curating different online sources in order to find my starting point.
Let’s start with a basic explanation. From Susan Pollak’s Psychology Today article, The Idea of the Beloved Community:
Where did the idea of the “Beloved Community” originate? It turns out that Josiah Royce, a philosophy professor at Harvard, developed the idea. In 1913, Royce wrote, “My life means nothing, either theoretically or practically, unless I am a member of a community.” He observed that, besides the actual communities we experience in our daily lives, there was also an ideal “beloved community” made up of all those who were dedicated to the cause of loyalty and truth. Royce did not see the community as a static object but as an all-embracing, radical idea of unity for the whole human race.
Many years later, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. took Dr. Royce’s idea much further when he wrote that in Beloved Community, faith, and action were inextricably connected. Among other things, Dr. King felt that:
- In Beloved Community, power is always to be expressed within the context of love.
- Beloved Community affirms the efficacy of soul force.
- Beloved Community seeks peace and justice.
- Beloved Community affirms that all of humanity is a part of an inescapable network of mutuality.
- Beloved Community insists on interdependence as the impetus toward the realization of full humanity and the actualization of full community.
- Beloved Community depends on the collaborative effort of cross-sections of people with common interests for a just society.
- Beloved Community seeks to build increasing levels of trust among people across differences.
Following the assassination of Dr. King, Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “When I heard the news, I was devastated. I could not eat. I could not sleep. I made a deep vow to continue building what he called the Beloved Community, not only for myself but for him also.”
It is possible that the next Buddha will not take the form of an individual. The next Buddha may take the form of a community — a community practicing understanding and loving kindness, a community practicing mindful living. This may be the most important thing we can do for the survival of the earth. Thich Nhat Hanh
I kept looking for, finding, and reading thoughts on Beloved Community and eventually felt ready to take the next steps.
My Journey
For each major Coming of Age question, there are a series of sub-questions that the student is asked to consider. For this one, there are four.
- How do we experience Beloved Community in our lives?
- What is the importance of striving for Beloved Community?
- What does it promise us collectively and individually?
- Are we obligated for work towards it?
I recently spent an evening with my fellow adult Coming of Age seekers where we shared our thoughts and opinions regarding these questions. Here are mine mingled with the those I gleaned from my fellow travelers.
How do we experience Beloved Community in our lives?
I experience Beloved Community when I find myself in a place where I feel welcomed, heard, and accepted. I am respected for who I am and who I am working to become. I am loved without conditions.
Beloved Community offers the support that allows people to grow and flourish. It provides a safe space where everyone can be who they are called to be regardless of gender preference, identity, race, or social class.
Being in Beloved Community challenges me to be and do better. I have a tendency towards complacency and often need to be pushed outside my comfort zone. My place in Beloved Community compels me to get out of my own way and look at life from different angles. Embracing the uncomfortable parts of my life is where growth occurs.
A gift
freely given
without ordeal or fanfare
a testament to amity and alliance
or perhaps
the simple light of friendship
in an world filled with shadows and disappointment
The gift of oneself
regardless of convention
bereft of all strings and hesitation
a gift and the gratitude that comes
from the bequest of such favor
Thanks be
What is the importance of striving for Beloved Community?
This takes me back to my On Being Human article. Striving for Beloved Community is one of the ways humans rise above our animal needs of basic survival. It’s a place where we can learn and practice empathy. Existing in the the top three levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, it’s where we learn and practice empathy.
Personally, the striving has asked me to take steps towards a better me. It supports the faith that there is more to life than what I’ve allowed myself to see or believe is possible.
What does it promise us collectively and individually?
Safety. Connection. Assurance that we are not alone. A place to speak our truths without fear of reprisal. We are asked to become our better selves with the understanding that this is a journey that requires us to be in community with others. I cannot do this alone.
None of this means that Beloved Community is some form of utopia where everything is rainbows and unicorns. Far from it. We are and will always be a flawed species. However, that is not an excuse to accept racism, prejudice, sexism, genocide, intolerance, or income disparity. Rather, it’s a call to build a world where we work collectively to dismantle such hatreds. We all do better when we all do better.
And I’ve seen the Promised Land! I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land! Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Are we obligated for work towards it?
No, but we will not achieve anything close to our potential if we do not. I do not want to simply be an observer in life. I don’t want to stand on the sidelines and wish things were better, but not do anything constructive to bring about change. I want to live in a world that honors how Dr. King described Beloved Community — love, justice, peace, humanity, trust, and the efficacy of soul force. In my own small way, that is why I began this Coming of Age journey. It’s my own mountaintop. My promised land.
It’s why I feel compelled to do my volunteer work. I cannot claim to be accomplishing big and great things, but I am doing necessary things. It doesn’t matter if it’s my church cooking or standing in front of people talking about cyber fraud. The same goes for the times I show up to fight against America’s slide towards authoritarianism. It’s me giving something that isn’t strictly for me and yet getting so much more in return. It’s working towards Beloved Community one baby step at a time.
Beginnings
I have a long way to go on my Coming of Age adventure, but I get a few steps closer each time I put my heart and mind into it. This is only the beginning of the latest question with two more to go. Ask me tomorrow and I expect that my answer will have evolved a little bit more. Until then, this is a good place to call it a day. Many thanks to anyone who has read this far. You are treasured.
Thank you for reading.
Gratitude Circle
To make the choice of love
letting love flow around me
to embrace the blessing bestowed
by friends and strangers alike
To set aside denial
changing the parts that must be changed
strengthening those that should be kept
To relinquish the fear of failure
as I try and try again
To break out in laughter
or stand firm and fight
One more trip around the sun
as another looms before me
another year of gratitude
for the gift of being alive
Can You Hear Me Now 
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