Can You Hear Me Now

We don’t need a list of rights and wrongs, tables of dos and don’ts: we need books, time, and silence. “Thou shalt not” is soon forgotten, but “Once upon a time” lasts forever.

Phillip Pullman

A much younger me believed I was in control of my fate. I lived life with the notion that whatever I was and wherever I found myself were due to my efforts. This led me to some less than desirable places.

Now, the older and somewhat wiser version of me realizes just how little control I have. This was made especially clear after a series of stressful events filled my week. Nothing I did could have prevented them from happening and it became quickly apparent that I couldn’t muscle my way through them. They had lives of their own and the only control I had was how I responded.

Getting angry would not have made them go away, but it would have made them (and me) less tolerable. On the flip side, putting on my happy face and pretending that everything was just fine wouldn’t have accomplished anything other than pissing everyone off.

So, rather than choosing extreme behaviors, I practiced The Serenity Prayer. I did my best to stay present as I contributed what I could, stepped back when necessary, and allowed others to do the same.

Did the problems magically go away? Of course not. However, they feel a little less oppressive this week and that’s a small measure of progress.

All of which leads me to the following poem. Even though I shun to-do lists, this feels more like the to-be list I wrote about a few weeks ago. I can’t honestly say that I have put all of this into practice (I fail on a fairly regular basis), but it’s a worthy goal and one I am committed to work towards.

To-Do List

Give thanks
to my eyes for the light of day
to my ears for the sound of my breath
to my skin for the feel of life
be it a cold floor or a warm body
give thanks

Be grateful for the people I love
and the people that love me
let them know
let them love me

Make someone smile
feed someone’s hunger
lighten someone’s load
be the shoulder
be the back
be a willing pair of arms and legs

Acknowledge my needs
take time
take responsibility
take action
for me

Embrace art
make art
look for beauty everywhere

Laugh
in public
out loud
alone and with others
at myself
laugh

Take chances
fall
fail
get hurt
pick myself up and do it again

Forgive the mistakes of others
my own
breathe in
breathe out
move on and let them go

Listen with passion
learn from everything
make noise
seek silence
move my body
challenge myself
challenge others
take a stand
acquiesce
compromise
make a difference

Each and every day

Thank you for reading